Maxigumee

So yesterday night, I was basically out of everything. I went to Walgreens to purchase all of the stuff I was out of. Yeah, so. I thought that that was that. I got home, I washed my face, I cleaned up a bit, I did some wash, I watched the Victoria’s Secret fashion show which ohmygod I have to direct a Victoria’s Secret commercial now. And a Britney Spears video. Those are like the two things I have to do before I die. But anyway…. I went off topic a little bit. I turned off the fashion show about forty minutes in because all the famous people had come out and they were just repeating stuff after that. I went to the bathroom to put on my moisturizer before I went to bed and I discovered that OH NO. I had no moisturizer. Without my facial moisturizer, my face, which is so accustomed to generous moisturization, would dry up like a raising and get all dry and gross and stuff! Ew!

So I started frantically searching through the baskets on the bathroom shelf. I probably put it in one of them, right? So I search a good five or so times before deciding that my moisturizer was absolutely nowhere in that vicinity. So I went downstairs. Maybe it was in the downstairs bathroom. Nope. So. I went back upstairs and went back to that bathroom. I thought that maybe I had thrown out the moisturizer since it was almost done anyway.

I emptied the trash out onto the floor and used a small box that was in there to sift through it. No luck. I started putting things back into the trash can when I suddenly realized that HOLY MOTHER OF GOD JESUS, I was picking up BLOODY PADS. I sort of freaked out a little bit and applied a ton of hand sanitizer. I decided that it was hopeless. My mother must have emptied the trash earlier and THROWN OUT MY MOISTURIZER. My face would be doomed to a night of DRYNESS.

I went into my parents’ bedroom and asked my mother if she had any facial moisturizer. She said she did. It was on the so-and-so shelf in the bathroom. I looked at that and I found that it was not only scented with a hideous lavender scent, but it was also NOT OIL FREE. I love my moisturizer so much that if it were a human being, I would probably marry it so it could constantly provide me with constant moisture. My moisturizer not only hydrates my quenched skin, but it also reduces shine. So skin is both moisturized and attractive. I sound like an ad.

Okay. So. I decided that any moisturization was better than none and I put on the gross, oily, itchy lavender stuff and went to sleep. Or not. I had one of those nights where you never ever ever can get to sleep and you just have awake-dreams all night long. I basically tossed and turned and had the same exact awake-dream over and over again. Surprisingly, I was pretty awake when I woke up early and had my father drive me to the 24 hour Rite Aid so I could finally be reunited with my beloved moisturizer. Of course, the brief happiness and relief I experienced was brought immediately crashing to the ground when I found the stuff I had been looking for in my sister’s bedroom.