Maxigumee

I went to a funeral on Saturday. The mother of the nine year old girl I babysit died. She had a brain stem hemorrhage or something like that and they had to pull the plug. It really sucks because the little girl is so young and her father is seventy five or somewhere around there. I think that they thought that the mother would live longer, she’s like twenty years younger than the father.

The funeral service was very nice, better than the other funerals I’ve been to in my life. It was in a relatively pretty church. I really love the whole church thing. The architecture, the music, the spine-tingly old music. I think I would go to church at least for the nice experience if it weren’t for this little problem I have whenever I go to one. If I’m there for a little bit, not too long, I’m fine. But if I get bored or fidgety, my OCD totally kicks in and I start thinking really, really evil thoughts that I can’t turn off. It’s because it’s a church probably and you are not supposed to think bad things in a church, so my mind takes the opportunity to curse out all things holy. And I really don’t think that way. I don’t belong to a Satanic coven or anything. I’m not anti-religion in any way. It’s just that those little ticks inside my head want to torture me to death with thoughts that I can’t remove from my brain. So I spend the whole time thinking horrible thoughts and then apologizing profusely for them inside my head. But other than that….. the funeral service was quite nice.

As the church service ended and the people started to pull the coffin down the isle, I saw the little girl walking behind it, tucked into her father’s side. It was so heartbreaking to see her like that, even though she seemed wonderfully calm with the whole thing. I can’t imagine losing somebody so close to me at such a young age. Any age! A few weeks ago, when the mother was still on life support in the hospital, I babysat the little girl. As I got into the car with her and her father on the way to their house, I didn’t speak to her. What do you say to somebody going through something like that? I just looked at her sympathetically.

The grave yard was very pretty. It’s fall and the trees are starting to change colors finally, so it was a really picturesque grave scene. I don’t want to be totally insensitive, but fall is a really great time to kick off. Everybody stood around the grave while a priest read a passage from his bible and squirted some holy water onto the coffin. The sun was shining literally onto the coffin and the priest noted that. Everybody was dressed in black. It looked just like a scene out of a movie or something.