March 2005

I need an anti-sugar.

March 27, 2005 – 10:17 pm
Filed under As It Happened
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Please do not mention sugar to me in any way shape or form. If you do, be warned, I may vomit all over you. I started off this morning with a big serving of Easter candy. Without the breakfast. Not a good idea. All of that sugar goes straight to your body. I was totally jerky and crampy and high-strung most of the day. Either that or completely dead and exhausted after my sugar rushes.

I sometimes get that way, too, when I’m planning a party. This Easter party was somewhat more difficult to manage as my mother was sick, my father was angry, and my sister was being lazy and watching the entire ninth season of Friends on DVD. Being my usual anal obsessive-compulsive self, I HAD to have absolutely everything, EVERYTHING perfect.

I had this whole party worked out in my head. The colors, the theme, the menu. Of course, you can’t always get what you want and you can hardly ever get what you want especially when what you want you’ve been planning for weeks and weeks but haven’t told anybody about it and you have a really difficult family and wow this sentence is long. I did get to get some of the stuff I wanted done done, though. At least menu-wise. Decoration-wise, I got basically everything I wanted done done. For the menu, I wanted to have a first course of strawberry pancakes with strawberry syrup. The for the second course I wanted to have fancy omelets with ham.

Originally, this party was planned for breakfast. It did not turn out that way. My mother invited everybody to dinner and not breakfast. My father told me that and I was all, What? An Easter party at dinner? That’s like sacrilegious! But that’s how it turned out. And I had to give up some of my breakfast menu because my father said that people were coming “psychologically prepared for dinner” or something. All progress in this world came from people doing different things. If I want breakfast for dinner, we should have breakfast for dinner! Screw tradition! Mix things up! Go CRAZY!

I got to have my pancakes, though. They were yummy. I didn’t wait for dessert, though. My body was collapsing from all the earlier sugar I had consumed and I fell in front of the TV for the rest of the evening watching the fifth season of Sex and The City on DVD.

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Groundhogs and weather fairies suck.

March 24, 2005 – 10:50 pm
Filed under As It Happened, Weather
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It’s probably because of all of the blogging that I did earlier this month that I can’t seem to get any bloggage in right now. I’m so lazy, blog-wise. I have been up to stuff. Really. I just can’t get myself to write about it. Not that it’s like…. personal…. but because I’m just too lazy to go to Movable Type and write a whole blog post. Especially when there are easy things like audio blogging that I can do.

I hope I’m not becoming one of those people that only updates their blog like once every two months. That would suck. In order to think of something to write about right now (maybe I have blogger’s block), I’m going to talk about what everybody talks about when they have nothing to talk about— the weather.

It’s supposed to be spring. The first day of spring was like, last Sunday. The groundhog even told us that spring would be in another six weeks! The freaking groundhog LIED. It was like a BLIZZARD outside yesterday. A blizzard that I had to stand in for twenty minutes outside of the school holding a fifty pound backpack, my laptop bag, and my Harry Potter lunchbox while waiting for the bus to come. I was even wearing springy clothes and clogs because the day before had been so nice. I just wish that the weather fairies or whatever would MAKE UP THEIR MINDS. Give us some pretty weather for our ten days off! Save the nasty stuff for when we can get a snow day for it! We haven’t had one snow day all school year! This is Western New York! I feel ripped off.

At least today was somewhat nice. It was still dreadful and muddy and snow and disgusting outside, but my sister, her friend, and I bundled up in blankets for some TV on DVD. We’re also working on another historical movie for my sister’s history class. That should be fun. And I got a job thing. Watching the dog of friends of mine. So…. mmmhmm.

What do you do when you come to a green light?

March 18, 2005 – 11:20 pm
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Rrrg! I’m really sorry for not updating in forever, but I’ve just been really busy and boring. Nothing particularly blogworthy has been happening. Or I’m just too lazy to write any of it down. Yeah….. So. In case I haven’t told you already, my old iPod (if I haven’t told you this, you would still be thinking of it as the new iPod I got six months ago) DIED. It was working one day and then splat. It died.

Russell and I went to the Apple Store last Saturday and the Apple Store people said that since I was still under warranty or something, that I could get a free iPod in exchange for my ghetto one. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any in stock at the time. I called back basically all week and on the days that I could go get it, they were all out. Finally, I called today and the woman who picked up said that they had some 20 gee-bee iPods in stock. (Yay!)

I had Russell (my car slave) drive me over to the Apple store to get my iPod. When we got there, the “Genius” guy at the Genius Bar told us that they actually didn’t have any iPods in stock but that they could take my old one and call me when they got a new one in, etc. From there, Russell and I decided to check out some of the store’s laptop bags for his new iBook, because, by the way, Russell got a new iBook. And a new couch from IKEA.

I can just imagine some people in like Pakistan reading this and seeing how spoiled us Americans are and planning to bomb us all.

So, yeah. There we were picking out laptop bags and stuff when the Apple Store Genius guy comes up to me and is all, “This is your lucky day!” Turns out that they did have an iPod in stock and that I could get my free iPod! (Yay!) So, whoo-hoo! I got another iPod! I got another iPod! I got another iPod, hey, hey, hey, hey!

After that, Russell and I went to ETS to get some tacos and nachos and stuff. Then we went to my house, he called his friend Mary or something and we decided to go over to Jill’s house. I hadn’t seen Jill since like sixth grade, so that was cool.

For some reason, Russell told my sister that we were going to some sort of rave/house party in which people would be having sex and getting drunk. My sister told my mother and my mother was fine with it. Although I’m all in support of open parents, I’m a little surprised that they don’t know me well enough to know that I would NEVER be seen at something like that.

So….yeah. Jill’s house was pretty cool. We got to have a tour of it and stuff. She has a bunch of pets. Like a gecko and a GIANT monster turtle, and an algae eater, and a pretty cute little dog. Jill had these really weird brain teaser whatsits that I totally have to share with the whole internet now.

Okay, so. Spell “SHOP.” Yes, in your head. “S-H-O-P”. It’s probably better if you read this thing out loud. Okay. After spelling “SHOP,” answer this question: What do you do at a green light?

Okay? Got it? HAH! I bet you said “STOP!” But the actual answer is “GO!” Hahahaha!

And then there’s this one: Spell “JOKE.” Okay, now what’s the white of an egg called? …. Yolk? No! It’s called…. Egg white! (Wheee!)

That is all.

We need better show material.

March 12, 2005 – 12:51 pm
Filed under Podcast
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Starring: Max and Russell

In the show: Driving in Russell’s car, talking about my sister’s gross mind, Lindsay Lohan, slutty middle-schoolers, spit, suicide, snorting ritalin, being a loser and eating lunch in the Physics room, sniffing hot dogs, more bad vegetarianism, Chloe.

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Overheard and Overseen for March 11

March 11, 2005 – 2:44 pm
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In the Spanish class room there is one of those inspirational schooly signs on the wall. It has a globe with children all around it. It says, “The best natural resources a country can have are its children.” Now, I don’t know about you, but when I think of natural resources, I think of stuff that you burn.

THEN. On the bus this afternoon: Four people are sitting on the bus. Two girls and two boys.

Girl One: I like your pants.

Boy One: They’re his [points to boy two].

Girl Two: You guys are the same size?

[Other people on bus start laughing. Boy one acts out an insulted face and hides his his head.]

Girl Two: Oh my gosh! I didn’t mean it that way! I just meant because he’s taller than you are! You’re NOT fat.

Boy one: [Fake sobs] Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a womanly figure?!

Girl Two: You’re NOT fat! I mean, it’s not like you’re OBESE or anything!

Junk Phone Calling

March 9, 2005 – 7:53 pm
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Starring: Max, Ana, and Lena

In the show:For the first two thirds of the show, it’s trying to think of stuff to talk about on the show. I discuss television, bad book design, cool craft magazines, being boring, drunk ski clubbers, consumerism and cinematography. Then my sister and her friend come home and we call people from the phone book to give money to our school’s track team.

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Illustration Friday: Ancient

March 8, 2005 – 7:21 pm
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The most hideous book covers in the history of book covers

March 8, 2005 – 3:30 pm
Filed under Books
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But still…. SCREAM! I’m totally excited. The covers are really terrible, though. I think the American one looks a bit too sketchy and too much like an overly dramatic Lord-of-The-Rings-type viking sci-fi/fantasy story. I think that the English children’s version looks like a crappy “Choose Your Own Adventure!” paperback directed towards kids between ages of five and eight. The UK adult edition seems to be, once again, the only good-looking one. Still, it doesn’t really say much about the book, and that makes it kind of dull. For Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, my family owns all three editions. I ordered the adult one from Canada, we got the American one at a midnight Harry Potter party, and I got the children’s edition for my birthday from friends of our family.

I’m not sure which one I’m going to choose this year. I’d like to have them all, to add to my collection of foreign Harry Potter books (yes, I’m that much of a Harry Potter freak. I even take my Harry Potter lunch box to school), but I think one’s good enough to start off with. Even though I said that the adult UK/Canada version is the prettiest, the Canadian and English books are not made as well as the American ones. The print is also smaller and there are no illustrations. Since my second favorite is the American version, I think I’d prefer that one.

There’s just one problem. I want to go to a midnight Harry Potter sale. The one I went to at a local bookstore at the release of the last Harry Potter book was REALLY fun. This year, however, my family is renting out a cottage in the Thousand Islands for a week in July, and before that we are going to Quebec. If I’ve got my dates straight, we will not be around to go to an AMERICAN midnight Harry Potter party. This means that I will most likely be stuck buying the Canadian version, since Quebec is in Canada (duh), and the closest bookstore to where we are staying in the Thousand Islands, I believe is ALSO in Canada. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! I could have the American book mailed to the cottage where we are staying, but I want it at EXACTLY MIDNIGHT the night it comes out! And then I want to have a Harry Potter party the next day! (I told you I was obsessed.)

I really hope that my Obsessive-Compulsiveness is not a problem this time. Last Harry Potter book, it took me like three months to finish, because of (1) me procrastinating, and (2), me worrying that if I didn’t reread that last sentence at least ten more times, that I would BURN IN HELL for the rest of eternity.

It also didn’t help that I found out what happened way before I finished the book. Or that everybody I knew basically finished it the day it came out. Chloe finished it in like five… or three hours. My other friend, called me after he had spent the entire day in his closet reading it to tell me that, “HE DIES!” Yes, people are mean.

Perhaps I should buy the book on CD, anyway. I’m probably going to have a ton of summer reading to do on top of that. And I’m terrible at getting any sort of reading done. I really hope that the American version looks better in person than it does online. The Order of The Phoenix did.

The cure for cabin fever.

March 7, 2005 – 11:02 am
Filed under As It Happened
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I usually complain about how terrible/boring my weekend was on this blog, but for a change, I can say that last weekend was completely perfect. I already discussed everything everything I did on Friday and Saturday, so I’ll talk about the stuff I did on Sunday.

Sundays, at least for me, are the most depressing day of the week. Seriously, some people say it’s Monday, but it’s not nearly as bad as Sunday. Is that sacrilegious? Monday is the day when you come back to the long, boring work/school week. But on Monday, it’s already happening. On Sunday, you need to worry about all the things you need to do on Monday and all the things you need to get done before the week starts. Even if you have nothing planned, the day is completely ruined because you know that you won’t have a day off on Monday. So, yes, Sunday is worse than Monday.

My Sunday is usually spent not getting enough sleep, waking up, taking a shower, going shopping for things needed for the next week, blah, blah, blah. Yesterday, however, I did get a lot of sleep. Very relaxing sleep, too. I spent a lot of time hanging around in my pajamas, something that I don’t usually do. Normally for me, it’s out of bed and into the shower.

My mother, my sister, and I decided to go to the Botanical Gardens, because we had been planning to do it since like two weeks ago. My sister came because she wanted pictures taken of her with her new haircut in my mother’s new Guess coat.

I hadn’t been to the Botanical Gardens since I was like…. eight? And for a seven or eight year old, staring it flowers is not terrible amusing. This time I went there, though, I was pleasantly surprised. The place is GORGEOUS. I was having an orgasm over how beautiful the building is and how warm and nice-smelling the whole place is. It totally fixed my craving for spring.

When we got back home, my sister and I watched the beginning of the movie “Shall We Dance?” The remake, not the original. It was better than I thought it would be. I mean, not EXCELLENT, but it was definitely cute. I also liked a lot of the supporting characters.

My sister and my father went to Target to buy the second season of Seventh Heaven on DVD and my mother and I cleaned up the house a little bit. When my sister got back, we finished up the movie. I then got ready for bed and read a chapter of the book that I’ve been trying to finish for like, three months. So…. yay!

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We’re really not perverts. Really.

March 6, 2005 – 12:24 pm
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So, Russell might never do another PodCast with me for as long as he lives. At least after he heard The Maxigumee Show #2 and found out that both of my parents had listened to it. After hearing about the first minute or so of it, he said something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh, I sound like such a jerk! Why didn’t you crop some of this?!” I assured him that most of the internet would understand that he was kidding about most of the things that he said. Otherwise, they’ll just think he’s a pedophile. Let’s get some things straight. The parts about going to IKEA, the barn doors, the obese rabbits, the celebrity phone calling, and the incredibly boring discussion about televisions are all true. The parts about me giving oral sex and the parts about Russell being into eight year olds are NOT true. The other parts that sound a little too far fetched are also NOT true.

I should probably have some sort of agreement for people to sign before they record a show with me. It would say something like, “I agree that everything I say will possibly be available to be heard by every single person in the entire world. I also agree that anything I say might possibly be removed from the conversation.” Russell is now freaked out that he will never be able to run for president, although, I’m not so sure that running for president was that much of a concern for Russell before this show was put on the internet. In case Russell DOES decide to run for president, though: President people, please note that Russell was just joking about the majority of the things he said in the previous post. He isn’t THAT much of a pervert. At least not in PUBLIC.

I don’t know how many of these radio shows I’m going to do. Although it’s starting to become addicting, like blogging was when I first started, I don’t want to have TOO many shows on my site. The reason for this is that first of all, it takes up a lot of web space. The originally uploaded files for the first two shows were something like 16 em-bees, and 35 em-bees. That’s like, A LOT. I mean, even though I have 15 gee-bees of web space provided by Orystes, it could run out…. eventually. The second reason is that too many posts might clutter the look of this site. At least with the way I have them set up right now. With the CD cover on the left and the description on the right.

I also didn’t want to stop doing the whole writing in the blog thing. I have to balance out the trashiness of my show with something, don’t I? I’d also still like to tell people how my life is going without sounding like a nervous, babbling wreck. So, since I already talked about what I did yesterday in yesterday’s PodCast, I’m going to just elaborate on it a bit more.

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