So. I’ve recently been drawing some clothing pictures, I don’t know if they’re any good. I haven’t taken any fashion design courses yet and I don’t keep very up to date with the fashion world, so I don’t know if these are complete garbage or not. I just drew what I thought looked cool. Anyway…. I made a Flickr photoset called “Fashiony” to hold all of my fashion-related doodles. Click here to view the set.
I already kind of do take dreams seriously, as a few times, they have predicted things that have come true. Very creepy things. I dreamt once that I was killed by this one guy and a few weeks later, the same guy stabbed a woman who lived in our neighborhood. The woman died a few days after. Seriously, this is no blogger-legend! I had the same dream, only with a different person, a few weeks before 9/11, too.
Well, right in time for the latest disaster, I had another horrifying dream. It took place a few nights ago. In the dream, my family is living on this rectangular house boat in the middle of what appears to be Florida or someplace in the equator region. From our surroundings, we seem to be in charge of cutting down the rain forests, because there are a lot of tree stumps around our house boat.
So, one day, in the dream, my mother (who is unusually creepy and insane in the dream) and I decide to go for a little row in the surrounding swamp. For some reason, even though we can afford a pretty large house boat, we can’t afford even a canoe. My mother and I are sitting on the top of a giant trampoline. Kind of like those mini ones…. except maybe about ten feet wide. So, you can imagine it. It’s kind of partly submerged under the green, plant filled water in some places. I don’t know why on earth my dream self would agree to such a thing, mysterious water kind of freaks me out.
Now, my mother and I row out for a little bit, maybe a half a mile or so away from our house boat. We’re in a section of water surrounded by trees. I don’t know if trees are supposed to live in the water…. but in that area of the swamp, there was basically a circle of trees around our little floating trampoline.
So, my mother is telling me how my sister wants to buy a speed boat so she can take her friends out on parties on it. I say that that might be too expensive or something like that. We row a tiny bit more. Then, all of the sudden, over my mother’s shoulder, I see a crocodile’s head out of the water, heading towards us. I try to paddle and I think I manage to say the word “Crocodile!” before I feel a horrible pain in my left arm as I am taken under water. The crocodile has the whole of my upper arm in its jaws and is swimmer deeper and deeper. That’s when I wake up and scream.
For the past few days, I’ve been getting very scared when the water turns cold in the shower. It reminds me of how cold the water was in the dream. It’s so strange how vivid the dream was. I could actually feel the pain in my arm as the crocodile pulled me under water. After I woke up, the real world seemed almost dream-like to me. It took me a while to readjust.
I didn’t really tell anybody about it until today. I was instant messaging Rachel and we were discussing the tsunami. I told her how my father had downloaded some videos of it. She said that she’d find them quite scary since she’s terrified of drowning. I told her about my dream, since it had something to do with drowning.
That’s when she says, “I had a crocodile dream recently too!!” I ask her if she’s serious. She says, “This psycho killer guy was forcing me to walk in flood waters that had a sign in it saying: danger! crocodiles in water!”
I don’t like to sound ultra creepy or pseudo-philosophical, but could it be that we were both having the same dream because of something that was going to happen, or perhaps that had already happened? Then it struck me, perhaps something to do with the tsunami? I wondered if there were Crocodiles down there in Indonesia, or wherever it hit. I did a google search and found this.
It’s a news article about how crocodiles, forced from their native habitats are now stalking the tsunami survivors. One quote from the story said “‘We too have received reports that the crocodiles have begun to consume bodies and that the beasts seem to have developed a taste for human flesh,’ Lal said.”
I mean, OH MY GOSH. That’s CREEPY. I wonder if any more people have had strange dreams involving crocodiles recently. Maybe it’s a way of feeling the pain of the people who are suffering right now…. or something. There. I’ve gone and sounded way too creepy and pseudo-philosophical. I need to get to sleep. Hopefully not to more horrifying dreams.
I shouldn’t have been so quick as to not add “be happy” to my New Years resolution list. Consider it added. I seem to be having post-holiday stress/anxiety/depression. It might be all the back to schoolness, it might be all of the end Christmasness, the back to reality after a break of only TEN DAYS…..ness.
The vacation being so short, it’s surprising how much I forgot over it. It’s as if my educational slate has been wiped clean. I go back to school to find a billion kagillion assignments assigned for homework and that I have absolutely no idea at all whatsoever what on earth is going on.
I basically was in outer space the whole of Physics class. I hardly can help it, though, what with the bad acoustics and evil lighting the classroom has. It’s almost impossible to keep focused more than a second or two. Physics is a really bizarre class. Not only is the teacher a tad bit difficult to understand (Romanian accent), but the textbooks (BOTH of them) seem to have been written by nutters. The definitions in the back of the book aren’t even complete sentences. I’m also a bit worried that I maybe should have taken next year, AFTER having completed Advanced Algebra. Some of the formulas and mathematical terms we are expected to know for physics we are JUST starting to learn in Advanced Algebra.
I blame some of my depression and anxiety on the fact that very many things make me depressed, anxious, or even nauseated. It’s not a good sign when you find yourself sick to your stomach just from looking at highlighters in Office Max. I think it has something to do with me associating highlighters with those super academic “school is my life” super-students who like…. highlight stuff. The same nauseated, anxious feeling comes from such bizarre things as: cheap paperback books, bad lighting, Wal-Mart, chain restaurants, block parties, overly humorous or unhumorous teachers, and foreign language textbooks. I better stop writing now before I make myself too sick and O.D. on Pepto-Bismol.
1) Finish more books. Like I said, I hardly ever finish any books. I think I have like seven books on my shelf that I’m currently “reading.” These include Lemony Snicket’s The Grim Grotto, The Time Traveler’s Wife, Persepolis, Clay Aiken’s book, Simon Cowell’s book, The Da Vinci Code, and Ethan Frome (the book I need to read for school by Tuesday and still have read only about two pages).
2) Stop renting movies and not watching them. Since we’ve gotten the big no late fees, unlimited rentals plan, I haven’t been renting nearly as much. Maybe that’s how the DVD people get you. Maybe they know that when you have no close deadline to get movies back, you tend to just keep the rentals lying around for a month, unwatched, and then return them right as your plan expires.
3) Try to do more to fill up my time. I don’t think I do enough. At least not enough of anything that’s important or memorable. I should do more so that when the year is gone again, I’ll think of many, many things that happened during it instead of just a few things. Time goes by way too quickely when you don’t do anything.
4) Redecorate, paint, and make pretty my bathroom. It’s not really my bathroom, but nobody else uses it, so I just call it that. Earlier in 2004, I bought a red paisley shower curtain. It seemed like it would be a good idea since I like red. I think it just looks too solid and big for the tiny bathroom it’s in. It also kind of clashes with the horrible white walls in the bathroom. I want to make the room more bright and colorful. Maybe yellow. Something springy.
5) Eat better. My 2004 diet was basically sugar, sugar, carbohydrates, and more sugar. I need to eat some better vegetarian foods! I need to stop it with this sugar addiction! Sugar is EVIL. EVIL, EVIL, EVIL.
6) Do more to embrace the seasons and make them last longer. I want flowers for spring, sunlight for summer, pumpkins for autumn, and pine for winter! I don’t want the year to be a blur of sameness all the time. I want more color!
7) Post more on this blog. Lately, this blog has just been full of photos and illustrations. Although I really like to take pictures and illustrate, I find that it makes my site seem too cluttered and empty. It also takes up a lot of web space.
8) Try to be more flexible and make the best of every situation. Don’t rush when I shouldn’t rush and rush when I should.
9) Just make life more exciting, vibrant, and more colorful.
