Maxigumee

(This post was actually written around fifth period during the school day.)

You must hate me. You’re punishing me, I know it. I just don’t know why. Haven’t I been nice to you, dear nose? I’ve been taking all of that fancy allergy medicine that knocks me out. It does nothing for you, however, you STUBBORN MONSTER. If you don’t cut it out, I might disown you. – No! I’m kidding! I won’t disown you! (Please don’t do anything terrible because I said that.)

Another thing, nose, why do you hate school so much? You’re so calm and well behaved at home. Why can’t you just be that way at school? I mean, the things I DO for you! I think the school is officially out of tissues since your latest hissy fit.

There was such a lack of tissues in school today that I actually went in search of paper towels. Yes. The school kind. You know them. The brown ones that are so good at their job that they’ll RIP OFF YOU SKIN while drying you off. Unfortunately, the school was out of THOSE, too!

I’m sure you don’t like this either, dear nose. You’ve turned red and sore and you sort of look like you’re molting. Can’t we compromise? I’ll use more air freshener! Really! Just let me breathe!