Gr. Everything’s been pissing me off lately. Maybe it’s lack of sleep. Maybe it’s my insane freak sister and father driving me insane. It’s probably mostly my sister. From morning to night she’s been such a pain in the…. neck. Morning: she wakes up, STOMPS into the shower. Five minutes later, from inside the bathroom, I hear her screaming, “MOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!–MOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!” It’s like, OH MY GOSH. Just leave the bathroom and get her if you need her so badly! THEN. Then she STOMPS back to her room. Then she STOMPS downstairs and off to camp. Then about six hours pass of complete boredom laying around, fiddling with my website…. Then my sister comes back home, fixes a bag of REAKING popcorn and goes up to MY ROOM to watch a movie since she’s not terrified of her room since a van ran into her backyard [probably more about that later]. Fat chance. She just doesn’t want to sleep in her stinky crappy messy nasty room until she gets my parents to buy $2,000 in furniture from Pottery Barn Teen for her. I just think, spoiled little brat, go to IKEA. She’s too fussy to go to freaking IKEA! Bler.
And that’s just one of the things that’s been making me go insane. On top of that, my father has become extra moody now….. or maybe it’s just because I’m home all the time. I’ve been left at home twice this summer because he was to impatient to wait for me to use the bathroom before leaving. That gets me mad.
On top of all of these high stress levels, my obsessive compulsiveness has gone up highly, most likely because of lack of sleep. Something that some people might now know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is that it isn’t just physical (like ritual behavior, handwashing, etc.), it’s also mental. When I get really nervous, I get a constant stream of repetitive thoughts inside my head….. and that’s not pleasant. Imagine having somebody constantly jabbering about some topic -usually something depressing- inside your head. Now imagine that you can’t leave the room or apply layers of duct tape to their mouth. Then imagine that you can’t focus on anything at all while this person is jabbering at you constantly. That’s sort of what it feels like. That’s why I can’t read that quickly. I’ve got a really annoying person stuck inside my head yelling at me about the same thing ALL DAY LONG.
All of this stress is….um…. really stressing me out….. I just want to KNOCK SOMETHING OVER. Already this summer I’ve broken our $60 Pottery Barn phone….. something which I feel really badly about. I’m going to pay for it, so we’re getting another one. I just feel that I REALLY need to control either the things that stress me out or the frustration that results from me being stressed out. Bleh. I just freaked out because I lost the back to my remote control. And I’m hungry…… I want to watch a movie.