I’m sitting here at the computer at 12:52am typing this. I have a tugging feeling at the pit of my stomach, I guess it’s like having butterflies in your stomach, only the butterflies are evil. Everything about this entire house, this family, everything, it’s just falling apart…. okay, maybe I could cut down a teensy bit on the drama, it is pretty bad, though.
The house is a complete mess. There’s dust, cereal bowls, popcorn, crumbs, just STUFF, everywhere. I don’t even want to get into thinking about the bathroom. The floors are icky and sticky with spilt toothpaste and soap, there are old toothbrushes cluttering the little table. There is every sort of hygienic product there just clumped all together in mounds of crap. Arg. The garbage that is in this house.
It’s not like annnybody around her does anything to help. My father just comes home from work, contributes to the mess by leaving a bowl of cereal somewhere and continues to sloth around, reading newspapers for the remainder of the day. I think I’ve said before that I don’t think he’s done a speck of actual cleaning or organizing in his entire life.
To make matters worse, my sister is being a royal….. witch. If she’s not satisfied by sitting in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream, a box of cheese-it thingies, and a bag of popcorn, she spends her time complaining and whining about how ugly she thinks I am or how she wants to spend a kagillian dollars on stuff for her room. Her room by the way looks as if a tornado went through it. Her idea of getting her room ready for new stuff is to remove drawers from dressers, throw everything EVERYWHERE and dump the rest of everything in my parent’s bedroom.
All of this stress is not that good for my mother, either. She’s been extremely anxious lately. When I go to bed at around two in the morning and say good night, I usually get a reply from her. She is up at 2am. She wakes up sometimes before 6am. The one person in this house who actually deserves to sleep a little bit is hardly sleeping at all.
I don’t want to sound like any of this isn’t my fault. I’ve hardly done anything to contribute to the house getting cleaned. It seems when the state of things as at a low point, I just get really, really lazy. It guess it’s a sort of “why bother trying?” way of thinking. With all of this stuff and such a huge job to clean it up, it just seems hopeless. It’s almost August, too. One month until school starts. ONE MONTH. The most depressing place EVER and it’s in less than one month.
I could try to go to sleep right now, but it’s too hot. I’m too hot and too anxious to get to sleep. And now I’ve gone and made myself feel more depressed by writing this post.
