February 2004

Now Not

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those sad

sad people

who live out there

there.

theyre so sad

so afraid

they cant come back

back here.

they say they will get hurt

their children abused

reading statistics

they found

one in a billion

are shot every day

thats reason enough

for those people.

they wont come

they cant come

but the place they once left

is now dying.

the silent ghost

of decay sneaks up

through the land

like a mouse

and what was once grand

has now gone quite bad

and scared all

the sad people away.

good bye people.

sad sad people.

probably gone forever.

away.

they leave in a hurry

they leave in much haste

and the place that once was

is now not.

Rainy Day In The City

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drip.

drip.

drip.

drip rip rip rip.

rumble.

crash!

roar!

inside, arent you glad

youre inside?

the rain is rippling across

the pavement.

hard little splatters on the roof.

the outside is black

though the sun was shining

minutes ago.

look out the window.

stray dog.

loose stones.

inside. breath. ahhhh.

tea? hot chocolate?

water? mmmm good.

cuddle. cuddle. warm.

yum.

play? yes, okay.

outside, wet, drip drop

on clothes.

refreshing.

splash on through the puddle.

kerplop kerplop.

splat. mud on your back.

kersploosh, mud on your back.

laugh a little.

wet a lot.

back inside okay fine good.

run.

open door

warm inside good

flood of hot smells

from the kitchen.

hurry on change

dont get cought in mud

new warm dry clothes

are waiting.

the rain drizzles on down

cascades on the town

blue mist it seems

through the window.

inside, arent you glad

youre inside?

on this rainy day

in the city.

Winter Glow

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I have a poetry page on my .mac website, but I don’t think many people read it. I think more people read this blog, so I’m going to post my three poems from that page here, and maybe continue writing poetry for this blog. :) Here’s the first, I think I wrote it winter of 2003:

Winter Glow

The cool dark winter air

clean, crisp, cold.

Breathing in while they walk

crunch, crunch, crunch.

Their boots are soaked on to the bone.

Their hands are cold as ice.

Their faces are pink with cold,

Their coats are frosted over.

With at least fifty pounds of presents

the two crunch on through the snow.

They turn the corner and see their house

alight with winter glow.

Just say “no.”

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A few days ago, my father found out that my uncle from Holland was visiting the United States. He wasn’t coming to where my family lives, actually, he wasn’t really going anywhere near where my family lives, as driving distances go. He was going to Boston, which, if you didn’t know, isn’t exactly close to New York…. at least when driving there. And, of course, being the great and powerful decision maker, my father decided to drive up to Boston this weekend. Just for the weekend! That’s two days! That gives us about one day of being there, and one day of driving back, if we were to leave on Friday (today).

So, he asked me if I wanted to come. I don’t really remember what I said, it might have been something like, “rm, I dunno.” But I guess to my father that means, “YES! I’d absolutely love to come! This is the perfect chance for some quality father-son bonding!”

Not that I wouldn’t like to go to Boston again. I’ve been there once or twice before, and it was a really nice city. It’s just that, I don’t know, I suppose I’m just not ready for the whole road trip thing. The eight or more hours in the car, the rest stop bathrooms, the boredom, the smell of cow poop…. and in just one weekend! I know that I complain a lot about never doing anything, but this is just tooooo much to ask.

I told my mother this morning on the way to school that I didn’t want to go on the trip. She told me that I might have fun, but I shouldn’t have to go if I didn’t want to. I told her to tell my father that I didn’t want to come so that I wouldn’t have to myself. My father had already told me that my uncle was looking for ward to seeing me and that he’d be very sad if I didn’t come. Talk about making me feel guilty!

Unfortunately, when I got home from school, my father still thought I was planning on going on the trip. Or maybe he knew I didn’t want to but was doing one of those “pretend-you-don’t-know-so-he’ll-still-feel-guilty” acts. He told me he’d be very disappointed in me if I didn’t go. This was very annoying to hear since I had been thinking in school about what I was going to do this weekend. I have a lot of dvd renting to catch up on. I also want to sleep. If I went on the trip, we’d be getting into Boston at about eleven or twelve at night, then we’d be getting up at like six so we could do lots of stuff. Too stressful!

I don’t know what it is about me. Maybe it’s taking rules way to seriously. They tell you when you’re little not to be rude. So I don’t want to be rude. I don’t want to make people mad at me! So when I found out my father still wanted me to come and would “be very disappointed” in me if I didn’t come, I went downstairs and began to have a fit. I guess psychologically, I don’t want to get anybody mad, so I hint it to them through a lot of whining, screaming, and throwing things. I went to get some cereal, and we were out of milk! I was mad!

So anyway, I think my father got my point and left without me, but not before telling me how disappointed in me he was.

Rg. Basketball.

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Out of all of the horrible sports out there, I would have to say basketball is the worst…. for me. I know, football and hockey are more violent. Basketball isn’t as violent, but it’s just too fast! I hate fast games! I usually can’t stand anything in gym class at all. I just don’t see how throwing a ball around is supposed to be exciting in any way. It’s a game. How can they expect me to care at all about it? Running, now that I can care about. How would our ancestors get away from the saber toothed tigers if it wasn’t for running? Running isn’t just a game, it’s a necessity. You run to escape the psycho killer. You run to catch the ice cream truck. You don’t see anybody dribbling a ball and throwing it into a hoop to escape being eaten to death by lions, do you? No.

I’m not exactly sure what makes me so terrified to perform in gym class. I’m not really sure about how to play any of the games, but that’s not really all of it. I never really played sports when I was a little kid. I remember thinking I was into baseball and stuff, but all I ever really did was throw a ball back and forth in my backyard. It doesn’t really count. “Sports” in the beginning of elementary school weren’t really sports. I remember dodge ball consisted of all the kids standing in a circle, throwing a squashy ball at one another and seeing who could dodge it. Regular dodge ball is not so easy. I was usually the one who was last on one team, not because I was good, but because I was hiding in the back. I learned to move more to the front and get tagged on purpose later on.

Maybe it’s a social thing. I don’t like public speaking. Maybe gym is kind of the same. I feel incredibly stupid doing anything at all in gym. I try to stay out of the game as much as I can. I really, really can’t stand it when anybody tosses the ball to me just to get me to participate more, like I feel left out, or something. And I really can’t stand it whenever I do something more than just stand around and then everybody claps and cheers my name. You don’t need to make me feel special, I’m fine.

Perhaps the whole gym thing makes me feel stupid because I see what other people actually playing look like. Stinky, sweaty, baggy, nasty, goofy looking people. Am I the only one who thinks people look completely stupid when they’re all running up against each other, sandwiching their bodies together, just to get at some ball? Uh, it’s not pretty. I don’t want to look like that.

So obviously, I wasn’t delighted when we were told that we would be starting basketball. Why is it the worst sport ever? Because it’s so horribly fast! Everybody is running and running and running in circles. Dribbling, passing, dribbling, passing. And I’m just spinning, and spinning, and uh, which way did the ball go? My sport-playing attention span basically lasts only two minutes into a game. Then I start thinking things like, “What should I blog about today?” “Maybe I could blog about this!” “Do, do, do re mi fa so la ti do ti la so fa mi re do. Heh, I can do it backwards.” Then I find myself, once again, against the wall, fidgeting with my fingers and staring blankly into space.

Don’t even think about asking me to run wildly around with my hands up in the air. Do not toss the ball to me. Just leave me alone with my thoughts.

“The Triplets of Belleville”

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I’ve had a pretty dull week. Too much homework, not enough to do, and only grape nuts to eat. I’ve been eating way to much grape nuts. Probably because it’s the only food that my father and my sister don’t gobble up right away. At times I think I may be going insane from boredom. Really. I need to do something! Sometimes it feels like I’m losing grip on reality.

On Friday, I went to a friend’s birthday party. My sister was invited, too, and if she had come, it probably would have been a little less awkward, but unfortunately, she had ski club. It was an all girl party! And those girls really did not need all of that sugar and coke. Really. I was chased, I was picked up by those freakishly tall eighth graders…. one of the girls took my coat, walked into the men’s room and dumped it onto the bathroom floor. Plus, most of the girls had obsessions with bizarre foreign music and Monty Python…. Um, it was a bit weird. But it was still nice to see my friend, and her siblings who are also my friends.

At the party, we saw 50 First Dates. I was seeing it for the second time, having seen the previous Friday, as well. I think it’s a great movie. The previews made it look…. not so good, more like one of Adam Sandler’s usual movies. There must be something about Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler together though which makes a movie really good. It was smart, funny, and really pretty. It was also more realistic than the trailer made it look.

My Saturday was pretty boring. I basically spent most of the day on the computer chatting and looking at blogs. I needed to do something. I cooked dinner (tortellini and an omelet), then I wanted to go to a movie. My mother, father,and I spent like 10 minutes watching movie trailers for possible movie choices. My father thought many of the movies were too late, so he decided not to go. But, I needed to get out and do something. So, I asked my mother to come and I’d treat. She didn’t really want to, but we ended up going anyway.

I suppose that I really shouldn’t ask my mother to do things late at night in bad weather. She was a bit annoyed, and while trying to find a parking place, we think she may have hit a car. There’s this horrible thing sticking out of the back of our car to hold bikes. That’s what probably hit the car, if we did hit the car. So we found a parking place a few blocks away from the movie theater. My mother was in a pretty bad mood by now. We walked to the car to see if there was a dent in it, and there was, and it’s most likely that it was from us. But what were we supposed to do? Wait outside until the owner of the car came back? It wasn’t a a very huge dent, either, and it wasn’t exactly in a very noticeable spot. I felt better that we at least checked, but my mother I think felt very guilty.

So, we went to the movie theater, and bought two tickets to The Triplets of Belleville. We were a few minutes late, but it was easy to figure out what was going on. The movie was terrific! I had heard that there was practically no dialogue and was wondering how they’d do it without making the movie completely boring. It didn’t need dialogue at all! In fact, if there was dialogue, it would probably have ruined it. I loved how more was said through the caricaturistic (I know that’s not a word) way the characters looked and they hilarious way they did things. There were several times the audience laughed out loud.

The animation was excellent. The warm colors, the drawing, the ways the characters looked. I think that it was very important for the characters to look funny, because with a movie with hardly any dialogue, most of it was about the way things looked. Things were exaggerated to make you feel a certain way. It was fantastic! Then the music! The music was fantastic! It was like jazz meets stomp! Totally amazing!

Lookie, I’m posting from school!

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I’m in school…. and posting! Somewhere in my school, I’m not sure where, there’s an air port base station! And no- for those of you not familiar with wireless internet- I am not going insane thinking that air planes fly into my school…. Any-who, I brought my computer to school today because I thought that the web site committee meeting might still be on. The librarian was sick, so there’s no meeting. I still have my ibook with me, though!

Today was a pretty bleh-ish day. I forgot my geometry homework at home, I guess, and we had a test in history class. The bonus question on the test was to name the final two democratic presidential candidate people. I hardly follow politics! :( I should really follow the news more. So I have two presentations to get ready for tomorrow, one is a group skit in Spanish, and one is an explication of some piece of writing in Literature. I’m thinking of doing a Woody Guthrie for that. Then, there’s also supposed to be a surprise science quiz tomorrow. Too much! Too much! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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Spring Light

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There’s still snow on the ground and it’s relatively cold, but for some reason, it smells and looks like spring! I’m loving this spring light! It’s not getting dark at 5:00 anymore! When is spring anyway? Too much winter. Too much darkness! Bring on the sun!

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

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valentinesday2004

And then I get to go to College!

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Ever since I took those PSATs, colleges have been filling my mailbox up with tons and tons of mail. I mean, I want to go to college, but this is just overwhelming! I don’t feel ready at all to make this kind of decision! Technically, I do have two years before I go to college. Why must these things start tormenting me now? My high school depresses me enough!

It’s been like every day that some college sends me a whole new mess of letters, magazines, pamphlets, etc. And I’m not the one getting excited over it, either. My sister -who is in the seventh grade, I might add- is beginning to annoy me with her college obsession. The way she grabs the mail from colleges that are addressed to me and scurries off to her room to rip them open is getting on my nerves. “Ohh, Max! You totally have to go to this college!” – “Hey! This college has small class sizes, Max! Didn’t you say you wanted something like that?” – “NYU sent you mail?! NYU? Eeeeek! Hehehehe!” [Passes out from excitement.]

This doesn’t seem normal at all for a seventh grader. When I was in seventh grade, college seemed so far off. It still seems far off. My sister and her friend are planning on going to the same college together. They spent part of a day a few weekends ago looking at college websites. I admit, I did get a bit excited when they said they wanted to live in the same apartment in New York City. I was like, “Oooo! Yay! And I can live across that hall from you guys and it can be like we’re on Friends!” I’m a dork like that.

Other than that ittie bittie prospect of sharing an apartment building with my sister, I’m not all that psyched about going to college. It’s actually a bit scary. I mean, if I think high school is overwhelming (when it actually isn’t that overwhelming), how am I going to handle college? If I think high school is impersonal, how am I going to handle class sizes at college? If I get freaked out by sleeping in my own bedroom, how the heck am I going to handle sleeping hundreds of miles away from my home in some dumpy little college dorm somewhere?! How can people like planning for something like this!?

I’ve been asking my parents if there are such things as colleges that don’t require you to take any extra courses other than your major. I don’t think they’ve heard of any. I don’t know if there are any. I want to major in some form of design. Actually, if possible, I want to major in film, photography, interior design, graphic design, cinematography (although I suppose that would go with film), web design, illustration, and perhaps some kind of writing. That’s a lot of majors! How long would I have to stay in college for that? It seems like it would take more than four years.

Am I like the only one who’s noticed that school takes up more than 20% of an average person’s life? Isn’t that scary at all? I know that we need to go to school and college to have a successful career, etc, blah, blah, blah, but doesn’t it seem like we should be spending more time on what makes us happy? Rather than spending more than 20% of our lives cooped up in some class room listening to some teacher drone on about whatever is supposed to help us later in life? Plus, aren’t the majority of the people out there unsatisfied with their careers, anyway?

I am not saying that I don’t want to go to college. I am not saying that I want to be a stupid vegetable for the rest of my life. I am not saying that I want my job to consist of the lines “and would you like fries with that?” I’m not even sure if I know what I’m saying at all. Perhaps that we all just need to lighten up and slow down before life seems like it’s two seconds long.